Everyone has bad days. Especially people with cancer. I struggle sometimes with what’s a normal bad day and what’s a “cancer” bad day. Today was definitely a cancer bad day.
This morning my wife calls to tell me I need to find people to pick up the kids while I’m on my trips or I need to pay for care. I call to see about care and it’s fucking expensive!! Like ridiculous! Who pays that?
As I was frazzled and frantic about that I got another phone call that was from the clinical trial nurse at SHARP telling me there was only one spot left in the trial I wanted to get into so I would need to hurry and sign the papers.
I hopped in my rental car (mine is in the shop from an accident) and I sped, yes, I literally sped, to SHARP to sign those papers.
Once I got there, Jackie had to go through a stack of paperwork regarding the study because I wasn’t allowed to sign it without knowing what I was signing. Which, of course, is a good thing. Especially when she tells me that 2 out of the 97 people who have taken this drug have died and one of them died from bleeding which is something I’ve been having issues with.
I hesitantly signed it knowing I could back out if I needed or wanted to. It was still quite scary.
I was all kinds of frazzled from the day so what does one do when they are? Go play some arcade games, of course. So I headed on down to Belmont Park. It’s on the pier here and is a place that has not only an arcade but rides and shit food and everything one would want in fun.
There is this game I was introduced to when we stayed in the hotel in Frankenmuth. It’s one of those coin pusher games and because I cant describe it, I’m just going to link a video so you can see this damn game:
So I threw 10 bucks into this machine and thought about the trial and whether or to do it and what I was going to do if I couldn’t do it and what was I going to do about the kids getting picked up and blah blah blah.
It was a nice stress relief. A LOUD one. And now I have enough tickets to get a “Game of Life” game. My favorite.
And what goes best with video games? Crap food of course. So I bought myself a pretzel and a Coke and cried my way home to pick up Nalani.
Long story short, I didn’t get into that trial. And I cried about it. Even though I do think it was for the best. I had a bad feeling I would be one of the ones to have a reaction to the drug. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about the kids, but I’m sure that too will work out. It was a rollercoaster day even though I didn’t get on the one at Belmont Park. I should have just for the symbolism but I’m not THAT cheesy. Plus it cost like 6 bucks.