I’ve been trying for months to get tickets to see a live taping of the show “The Big Bang Theory”. I’m borderline obsessed with it right now. I thought a lot about it last night and I think I discovered why.
Besides being a funny show and it woud be a blast going, there’s underlying feelings about it for me.
Back when I was a Genius at Apple, quite a few of my co-workers watched the show. I’m not sure why I didn’t at the time but I just never checked it out then.
Fast forward to my second trip to the hospital last year.
When I was in the hospital the first time for my surgery, MJ was there the whole time and I was flooded with visiters. I was there 12 days and I don’t think I was alone for a minute. It was amazing and I appreciated all the support. I needed it.
When I went in the second time almost 2 months later, MJ couldn’t take that much time off of work again and I didn’t tell everyone right away I was back in the hospital, so I had some alone time. It was OK though, I needed that too. I was really sick. I spiked fevers up to 104 and had cold sweats and was just pretty miserable. I don’t remember now how long I was there, but it was quite a few days again and without visitors and no energy for much else, I got quite a bit of TV time.
One of the nights I was alone and couldn’t really sleep I clicked on the TV and flipped from channel to channel, over and over. Couldn’t find a thing to watch. Finally on one of the passes I saw a clip that said “Up Next: Big Bang Theory”. Huh. Wanted to check that show out, guess this was my chance.
I watched that episode and LOVED it. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t checked it out sooner. And as luck would have it, they played 4 or 5 more episodes back to back. Awesome!
Every night at that same time they played 4 or 5 more episodes. And it made me laugh. It made me forget how sick I was for a few hours.
Once I got home I was still pretty down and couldn’t do much so I had more time to kill. I went and got all 5 seasons of The Big Bang Theory and watched every episode. I don’t remember how long it took me I just remember how sad I was when I finished that last episode. I couldn’t wait for the new season!
I noticed something when the new season arrived months later. I felt a little weird watching it. I got a little lump in my throat when I heard the theme song. I didn’t figure it out right away, but as I started noticing other little things (like the smell of the soap in the infusion center), I finally put it together that I was associating those nights in the hospital with the show. Those gut feelings of being sick, scared and alone.
Once I realized that was happening I tried to watch the show in a more positive mood. Sometimes I would have to skip the theme song since that seemed to be a big trigger. I can enjoy it now but there’s still a little tiny reminder every time.
I think this all made it super funny when I had to meet with Dr. Hampshire in Dec. when my oncologist, Dr. Huynh, was on vacation. Dr. Hampshire resembles the character Sheldon Cooper from the show. He even has some of the same mannerisms. I was having a hard time concentrating on what he was saying. I kept waiting for a “Bazinga!”.
See for yourself…
So I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason I want tickets to see the taping so badly is that I want to rewrite my history with the show. I want a fun new happy experience with it. I’m finding myself having to do this with other things too. Like the infusion center soap. It’s from the same facility so it smells like the hospital soap. I need to find a way to associate the smell in a better light. I know this all sounds kinda weird and it’s not that my hospital stays were horrible. Quite the opposite. They took great care of me. It’s just that reminder of how sick I was. I was in survival mode at the time and didn’t even realize it. And now that I do it’s hard to think about sometimes. I don’t want to totally forget, it’s a part of what I went through and continue to battle, but I’m just trying to find new ways to associate.
So if you know someone who knows how to get tickets to the taping? Let me know.
I’ve been trying every Monday and haven’t had luck yet 😦