Strike a pose!

OK warriors, get ready cause I officially have cancer.   -No, strike that.

I am temporarily challenged by cancer.

I was supposed to hear from the doctors today.  Waited and waited.  By 3:00 I couldn’t take it anymore and called.  I was put through to a front desk who said they would have one of the nurses call me.
I waited more.
After an hour I decided to call back again, was transferred back to that same department and no one picked up the phone.  I was starting to fume.
I called back again and wouldn’t accept a transfer.  I had the guy get them on the line for me.  The lady who I talked to earlier said she gave them the message and to wait.  That’s when I started to unleash.  I asked if there was another doctor I could talk to.  Basically I wasn’t going to let her off the hook.  She transferred me through to the nurse who I’ve talked to a few times before.  I was sobbing at this point.  I explained that they told us we would know by today and that’s it’s been a month already and I can’t take it anymore.
She told me the docs were in surgery all day Friday and today and that’s why they didn’t call yet, but that they would call me tomorrow.
I sobbed even harder.
“They’re going to call on my birthday?”
That got her.  She paged the doc and he called me 1/2 hour later.

He explained to me that I indeed do have cancer.  The mass they tested from my liver is malignant but not ovarian.  It’s most consistant with a gastrointestinal cancer. So far all the scans I’ve had haven’t shown any masses anywhere else.  The only thing they couldn’t see is the colon.  I’ve been referred to another oncologist now and my guess is the next step will be a colonoscopy.

I knew I would have feelings upon hearing the news and I did.  It’s hard when there’s definite reality.  But I’m having even bigger feeling about the fact that it may be colon cancer.  I fit all of the risks for it.
It’s difficult to think the things we did when we were young can totally come back and bite us in the ass. Literally for some of us.  The thing is though, if you buy enough lottery tickets, eventually you’re going to win.  It may be a little or you may win big.  And I certainly bought the tickets.  Every cigarette I smoked, every fast food meal I ate, every drink I had, every day I decided to lie around and not exercise.  Those tickets all added up.
I’m not beating myself up.  It happened and there’s nothing I can do to change it.  The frustrating thing is I was on my way to changing all of it.  Just didn’t matter.  I had already bought the winning ticket. And I got the big prize.
It’s something I would like all of you to think about.  Pick up a fast food meal? Not a big deal, right?  Have a few more beers than you planned?  Meh, it happens. Drink soda every day? Who doesn’t?  But keep in mind that you are buying a lottery ticket every time you do these things.  It may not get you cancer, but you could still be in the running for something.
Do your homework and get checked up!
—This rant was brought to you out of all the love I have in the world for all of my family and friends ❤

I was looking for the video of Pat Benatar’s “The Warrior” but all I could find were cheezy ones that people had made.  But while looking I came across another awesome song from one of my all time favorite 80’s movies and it seemed even more inspiring to me tonight.


3 thoughts on “Strike a pose!

  1. Scratch my last. Sorry to hear about this. you’ll LOVE the scope……..been there, done that every other year since I was 30. Same reason. They always manage to catch it at the polyp stage so it’s no biggie but just a pain in the ass (pun intended). The good news is the waking sedation is nice. Instant 12 pack. lol. I’ve got a friend out here who beat stage 4 colon cancer. Still hanging in and doing great ten plus years later. This is one of the ones they typically can handle no problem. Finally, if you’re anything at all like me you’ll quickly come to find that knowing is way better than not knowing. Now you can deal with it. Hugs from all of us. We’re thinking about you.

  2. Heather please don’t beat yourself up for things you did in your yesterdays. When we are indulging ourselves in our youth we always feel that we are invincible. Picture yourself now as going on a vacation… you have a destination. Will you ever arrive there safely if you only look through the rear view mirror? Trust me… it doesn’t work very well. Use your strength to work through today and look to a good tomorrow.
    Oh Lord, I’m starting to preach like a hovering mother. Forgive me please. I only want you to be strong, well and happy. I love you so much.

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