I was just giddy this morning. Felt more like we were getting ready to go on vacation somewhere rather than going in to have a needle jammed in my side. It was just exciting to be DOING something. Moving forward.
I was in pre-op for a couple of hours waiting for the procedure. I did get a little nervous when they finally wheeled me down. Not because I though it would hurt, I just wasn’t sure what the whole sedation thing was going to be like.
Once I got all settled on the table I expected they would tell me when they would give me the goods. I sat still and stared at the pretty tropical mural painted on the ceiling. I started to feel nice and warm. Very comfortable. Didn’t seem like I was there very long and they were done. I don’t remember a thing. Just staring at that mural. Didn’t feel anything. It was nice. Weird that I was awake the whole time though.
I took this picture while I was waiting for MJ to pick me up. The picture itself was rather reflective of how I felt. Felt good, but was still a little fuzzy.
They monitored me in post-op for about an hour and I was free to go home. I was a bit loopy for a few hours. Probably should’ve did a blog post then.
I did start to have a bit of pain in the afternoon but nothing that a couple of Tylenol couldn’t help.
Doc said we should have results as early as tomorrow but maybe not until Monday. I’m OK with that. MORE than OK. I expected to have to wait a whole week, so I’m pleasantly surprised at even Monday.
I must admit that it’s going to be a little weird to know. Strange huh? I’ve lived with this unknown for weeks now and while it’s driven me crazy, I’ve also come to a comfortable place with it. While it doesn’t change what it is, giving it a name will start a new process for me. I will need to start a new relationship with this “named” thing.
There’s also knowing things that I maybe don’t want to know. Like, say, this ends up being pancreatic cancer. The reality of the prognosis of that type of cancer is a little more difficult to deal with than possibly ovarian or colon.
It’s weird. It feels like I’m taking a big spin on the cancer roulette wheel hoping for a “good” cancer. But lets face it, none of them are going to be any kinds of fun.