Tick tock tick tock tick tock… this seriously has to be the worst part. Yes, ask me that again mid chemo, but this wait is totally doing a number on my psyche.
Liver biopsy Thursday. YAY!
I went to see my general practitioner today to follow up, ask a few questions and really to say goodbye since I’ll be switching systems. It was a little bit of an awkward visit. She seems genuinely sad about what’s happening with me. I’ve been seeing her for a couple of years with strange ailments that may or may not be related and I wonder if there is a little bit of guilt for not catching things sooner? Although I wouldn’t even know how since the gyno who did my exam the beginning of December documented “NO MASSES”.
She’s around the same age as I am and maybe that is striking a chord with her. She’s told me a few times, “you’re so young” but in a good tone, like that’s helpful but still looked at me with very sad eyes.
Or maybe it’s because I was a pretty big mess when I first started seeing her. Morbidly obese, drinking more than I should’ve, eating complete shit. She watched me turn all of that around to losing the weight, fixing my diet and completing marathons. It is kinda a bummer to have to face all of this now after all of that.
I am sad to be leaving her care. She’s a great doc and has always listened to every weird thing I’ve had come up along the way. And she obviously cares.
As I was waiting for my appointment my phone started blowing up over Proposition 8 being ruled unconstitutional. Yes! Another small victory. Of course, this doesn’t mean MJ and I can get married any time soon. More appeals and more waiting. This really got me thinking today though.
MJ and I have been very lucky in any medical situations we’ve had so far. I assume much if that has to do with where we live. She has come with me to visits and we’ve had no problems at all. We did have one of the gyno nurses ask “if my friend” could wait outside until I had my vitals done. You know, cause doesn’t every woman bring her friend with her to the gynecologist?
I doubt we will have any issues in the new health system either, but this is one of the things about gay marriage people don’t understand. We wouldn’t even need to worry if we were legally married. Religion or beliefs or whatever it is that bothers people about it aside, can’t people understand that? There are places that this is still a problem. And even though MJ and I live in a rather liberal place, we still have fears of it being a problem. This kind of thing is the last thing you want to worry about in our situation.
Not to get all “preachy”. I know there will be at least one person who reads this that has voted against or will vote against gay marriage and I’d like for you to take all of this into consideration.
Whether the law says so or not, MJ and I consider ourselves married. We were married in our church and we live and raise our kids just like any other family. I don’t need for you to agree on that. I just need to know that my family will be allowed to be by my side when I need them the most.
::::stepping off soapbox::::